Count Down to Ten

My little Kittens…

14330123_10154337488055306_5589404277448606764_nI’ve gotta tell ya…I’m now 30 weeks pregnant with our first child, a baby girl and to know that these past 30 weeks have damn near flown by, I’m really, Really, REALLY getting nervous for these next (possible) 10, as she can always come a little early.

I feel so ill prepared with her room and furniture, clothing and special gadget needs still not having been met yet.  Money is tight these days and if it’s not one thing, it seems to be another.  I keep trying to remind myself that so many people survive on FAR less than what we are working with but what expecting parent wants to feel as though they haven’t adequately provided for their fully dependent little one???

Next on the agenda is a baby shower (Sun, Oct 9th) and then a maternity shoot…of which I’m lacking outfits for both still.  I don’t want to pressure my husband with trivial things considering our current situation, but these are still first time milestones that mean a great deal to me.  I feel overwhelmed and stressed with all that needs to get done around here that most days I just don’t have the energy or clarity of mind to do.

I know some of you first-time parents can relate…it’s just so frustrating that I am unable to contribute as I once had.  Ugh….so glad I have you Kittens to vent to…I’ve worn patches through the carpets of my mind trying to figure things out, even though my husband urges me not to.  He’s sucha marvelous man.

Okay Kittens, need to wash this day off…love you to pieces!!

xoxox

-MEOW

Pity Party For 1 – CANCELLED

Goooooood Morning, Kittens!

What a difference a decent night’s sleep can make…well, that and some deep, mature thinking and reflecting and having a true, “Come to Jesus,” moment.

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I will absolutely stand by how I felt LAST NIGHT, but I don’t want to carry that into today, or for this next decade.  I have SO MUCH to already be thankful for and if God decided to never bless me again, He has done far beyond anything that I deserve.  If anything, I should be GRATEFUL that He hasn’t given me what I deserve, hah.

I decided that a pity party just doesn’t measure up to my greatness.  I’m about to be someone’s MOTHER…what an honor and responsibility that holds such weight and distinction. I’m her first example and I want her to have better perspective and coping skills than I’ve allowed myself to display, as of late.

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I want to return to being the woman my husband fell in love with, and NOT this bitter bear I was becoming.  Why should he have to endure a burden he had little, if anything, to do with?  Growing up, I never wanted to be an “older parent” because my mother was 41 when she had me and the generational gap at times was quite distinct.

img_3574A sister of mine told me one day that I didn’t have to have our mothers mentality and that it was up to me to design how our lives would be. So true.  And now, here I am, a pregnant 40 year old who will have my 1st baby in the newness of my 4th decade here on earth…what a blessing.

My husband, as unromantically matched as he may be at times, loves me dearly, deeply, genuinely and with ALL of his heart.  How can I complain about that? He’s faithful and committed and feels I’m as much out of his league as I feel he is out of mine.  Trust me, that’s a good “problem” to have.  My Yum is a hard worker and ever so optimistic…and is the true love that I always looked for…even when he drives me nuts and I could just “love him to death” so to speak, hah.015273bad5aafda300254699206b66e1492167ca8f_00001

No great thing has been built in a time of comfort, rather, it is what makes us uncomfortable that breeds the desire and inspiration to do and create better. I’ve been severely uncomfortable for some time now, but haven’t done anything about it. I’m ready for that change and what better time to start, than now?

Kittens, I encourage you to find your places of discomfort  and make a change…it will undoubtedly be one of your greatest moves.

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As I celebrate this entry into my Fabulous @ 40 mentality…look for places in your own life to celebrate and do something a little out of the norm in your routine today.

Be inspired, Kittens…we ALL have a purpose.  Oh! And one last thing…as a reminder of you being here with purpose, just know that God has set up a reminder for you twice a day.  Every time I see 9:08am and 9:08pm, I’m reminded of today, September 8th, my birthday, and that I have purpose!

Love you Kittens!!

-MEOW  :D

A Very Unhappy UnBirthday To Me

Hello there, Kittens…

Tonight (Sept 7th) is the narrowing eve of my 40th birthday (9-8-76)…something that in my teenage years seemed eons away, yet, I sit here on the cusp of it.  I definitely have mixed emotions about it…I sincerely thought that I would be in a much different place in my life.

My thirties were TERRIBLE.  Initially, I couldn’t wait to get out of my 20’s because I thought the same about them…then on the day of my 30th birthday, I started getting stress boils all over my body from my mother being diagnosed with stomach cancer.  It was a horrible time that then lingered on and on, one turmoil after another until both her and my brother with Down Syndrome passed (7 years apart). I was an on-going caregiver for the two of them over an 8-year span…but there was SO MUCH pain and suffering during that time.

The best thing about the end of my 30’s was meeting my husband and us now expecting our first child together…aside from that, this entire decade can get the, “Gas Face.”

unhappy-cat-cupcake-melted-candlesThis time last year I had high hopes for my 40th…I figured I’d have a very sparkly “Fabulous @ 40” birthday party…mmm, a party…something I haven’t had since I was 14 years old. Worst case scenario, my husband and I would take a mini trip somewhere, just the two of us and celebrate…but, that’s not happening either.  Finances are more than tight and poor George Washington has been stretched so far, he looks Asian.  My husband has been so busy, stressed and wrapped up in things he’s doing, I honestly don’t think he’s even gotten me a dollar store card.  All I ever really ask for is love letters, but somehow, I don’t receive those either…but as a hopeless romantic, there can never be too much love expressed.

I can honestly say I feel deprived, neglected and cheated this year…and mostly by circumstance.  There’s so much I wanted to do that will not happen, even for this milestone. I know I should simply be grateful to be here, have a good man and a precious baby on the way, but I’m not…well, I mean, I AM grateful…but I still had hoped for more.

I will DEFINITELY make sure that our daughter doesn’t feel the displacement and sense of being forgotten by life, as I do.  My feelings are hurt at how this year is progressing, but not much can be done about it.  I guess my new resolve is to celebrate my 45th year, my half way marker to 50…inside I can hear myself sounding like the down trodden Eeyore.

Okay Kittens…have some cake for me…this Gestational Diabetes is one more limitation on my life right now.

MEOW😦

Sugar & Spice Ain’t Always Nice

Helllloooooo Kittens!

Sooooo, in case I haven’t already mentioned it, we are expecting a girl…you know, sugar and spice and everything nice?  Well, apparently, it’s possible to have too much sugar and end up with Gestational Diabetes.  Yeah.

The super bad news is, they project that I would have to have 3-4 daily injections (needle to stomach) of insulin…the not so bad news is, it MAY be avoided and an oral medication MAY be substituted (Metformin) and the best news is, it will go away after I have her…near THANKSGIVING.

gestational-diabetesI was already having a pretty sucky day when I got this call and in true pregnancy form, I (secretly) cried as the nurse practitioner gave me the news.  I think she may think I’m a bit bipolar because when I’m in her office, I’m cheerful and social, however, on the phone I come across as reserved and uninterested.

Could have something to do with when my husband says that the, “Bad News Lady strikes again.”

Whenever she calls, it always seems to be with some of the worst news I’ve encountered all day…and I’m on social media, so that says a lot, hah.

Some of the proposed problems would be the baby getting too big and possibly getting STUCK during the birthing process, causing her to be deprived of air and causing BRAIN DAMAGE. Whew! Plus, after birth, there could be even more complications for her new life that just wouldn’t be a fair exchange for the brief delight of a deep, rich chocolate, mile-high brownie with ice cream. Sure sounds yummy, tho. Also, I didn’t look this up, ole Bad News Betty told me this on the phone, as well.

As if I don’t have enough to deal with, I now have this little sugar binding issue, which is pure, poo-poo, if you ask me.  Never should a pregnant woman be denied ANY tasty luxuries of life…but I will do anything for my little kangaroo…including pushing the dessert tray away…no matter how many tears may fall.

Okay, enough whining for the morning…there’s too much more going on to be grateful for.  Have a swell day, Kittens…get yo MEOW on, honey!

xoxox

-Bad Kittie

 

Now Who Has The Big Mouth?

Soooo, it’s finally happened…I’M PREGNANT!!…or, should I say, “WE” are pregnant.  Yes, yes, thank you, thank you, *hug*hug*…it’s been a long-time dream for me.  This is our first marriage and our first baby, he has two other little ones.

I refer to my delicious, hot piece of ass husband as, “Yum Yum.”  Well, Yum was very adamant about me keeping my pie hole shut and not telling anyone that we were expecting.  Soooooo, please tell me, whhhhyyyy was he sharing the news the same day he found out? Haha… while I really am tickled about his delight, his ass got some nerve in trying to shut ME down from doing the same.  Granted, I’m a bit more apprehensive about letting folks know just yet, but that part shouldn’t matter.

Baby Featherz 1Yum’s quick to nod in agreement that nothing else shall be shared until we see the baby’s heartbeat, but no sooner do we agree, is he taking a call and I distinctly hear, “Yeah man, we’re expecting.”  He’s so cute…and so terrible at keeping HIS pie hole shut.

Part of me wants desperately to share…but…I’m not so sure of what the reception will be. Will they love it? Hate it?  Brush it off?  I kinda think that would be the worst. We didn’t get a ton of support when we were first planning to marry, (your guess as to why is just as good as ours), and it made us decide that whatever money we were planning on putting towards a wedding and reception, should instead be directed towards our Honeymoon…helllloooo Hawaii!

So, in the flavor of those semi-sour feelings, I’ve decided to keep things on the hush for now…no matter how much I wanna be like my adorable Yum, flapping my lips all around town, haha.

So Kittens…the morale of the story is…don’t be mad at your Boo if he’s doing annoying things out of genuine love and excitement…just give him the saucy side-eye…but with a corner smile.  LOVE YOU!!

-MEOW!

#HotHubbyMess  #From2To3  #TheUrbanFabulistaSpeaks

 

My Inner Drag Queen Is Crying

Hello my little sparkly Kittens…

Well…this sux.

If there is one thing I wear the hell out of, it’s earrings.  Usually, my earrings are a bit on the flashy side, if not straight up hood, at times.  I’ve been noticing for the last couple of weeks that my ears can’t really tolerate them anymore and it’s making my inner drag queen cry.

What am I ‘posed to do now? I have oodles of danglies, hoops, chandelier and sparkly earrings to see me into the 2nd comiFeatured imageng….and now I can’t wear them?? Sunnuva Biscuit Eater… this SUX. Seems like I’ve developed some sort of allergy towards cheap ass jewelry…my favorite kind.  Why? Because you can have so many different looks and styles without breaking the bank.  Am I about to be sentenced to the dreaded one-look all week kinda thing? *sigh*  My heart hurts.

Ok…so it’s not so life ending…to you…but to someone who would loop two bobby pins together to make dangling earrings to wear as kid, this is gut wrenching. What’s my alternative? I guess look for metal or nickel free earrings and hope for the best. Perhaps this too shall pass…but, not likely.

Excuse me while I go dry my rhinestone laced tears…. *sniff*

-MEOW

All Blocked Up

Hey there my New Year Kittens…

Okay, okay…so I’m a little late with the whole “New Year” comment….but, check this out…

I started a new fancy-shmancy kinda job and 100% thought THIS SITE WAS BLOCKED.  What a friggin waste of opportunity to find that, as you can see, I’m on here!

SFeatured imageo, now it’s time to do a recap….Im actually a little embarrassed AND skerd to see when my last post was and what it was about so we are just gonna act like I ain’t missed much of a beat.  Well…sorta like a white girl that hangs around a lot of blacks…she ain’t gonna be completely off beat, ya know?😉

Any-who…my lil faithful and loving “pirate” brother passed almost a year ago. It was a difficult and heavy ordeal in being his caregiver, but I NEVER would have had it any other way. (Sailed Away 4/13/59-2/13/14)

Sooo, I’m currently with a SUPA-DUPA FINE AZZ MAN…who loves me dearly and who I’m utterly in love with. Wedding bells?  HELL YEAH…8-8-15 (infinity times two…get it?).  We get along famously…but as with all relationships, we can rub each other the WRONG WAY…thankfully, we do some of the other kind of rubbing in all the right ways, so it balances out.

How can a whole year be summed up in a few sentences?? Weird…but I kinda just did.  Actually, I did leave out some stuff, but why dwell? Undoubtedly, I will make my way back around…why? Because I’m a woman, dammit, and that’s what we do….bring up OLD SH*T…so, stay tuned, hah.

***This just in….a co-worker let me know that our internet filters are down for the time being…(rubbing hands together)***

Sooo, the plan is to get back to blogging…didn’t appreciate all my “down time”…aka UNEMPLOYMENT TIME. We shall see as plans tend to change around my world.

On a side note, I’m not feeling the greatest about the current condition of my body…it’s been through a lot, thanks to stress, medications, weight gain/loss…so much so that I’m having some body image issues again…(says this while eating a snack-size Snickers).  This sux…but is also great material for another blog.

Alright youngin’s…gotta do tha work thang up in here…check back, I should have more for you soon…*kisses*

-MEOW

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